Learning How To Save Your Marriage
The Key to How to Save Your Marriage is in Your Hands
You have made some horrible choices that have affected every area of your life. While you might have turned things around and put your feet back on the right path, you still have not figured out how to save your marriage.
When you commit serious transgressions, such as infidelity or dishonesty, it can be difficult to work things out between you and your spouse. Below is some advice that might help you in your quest to learn how to save your marriage.
Some people think that it is better to continue to cover up sensitive matters rather than have their spouse find out about them. They think that one more grain of sand might be what causes the castle to finally come tumbling down so they fight and lie to keep things a secret.
While it might seem to make sense on the surface, you have got to look at the big picture. You are trying to learn how to save your marriage. Lying and continuing to be deceitful is NOT going to help.
Will your spouse be upset when she learns the whole truth about what you have been doing? Yes, but you owe it to them to allow them to make their decision about whether to stay or go based on the truth, not on lies.
If you have really stopped all of your bad behavior, then just tell your spouse that it is in the past, but that you want to be completely honest with him or her so that you can really have a fresh start as a couple.
This will not always get the result that you were hoping for, but your spouse has a right to the truth.
You have hurt your spouse and part of the puzzle of how to save your marriage is about being patient while he or she learns to process the information.
It is likely that everything that they thought they knew about you has been shattered. They feel betrayed, alone and, at least for a while, bitter.
Be patient with your spouse while he or she works on healing.
It might sound cliché, but try to imagine how you would feel if the shoe were on the other foot. A good, healthy marriage is built on trust. If your spouse feels that they cannot trust you, nothing else that you say or do really matters.
If you try to put yourself in your spouse’s place and really try to feel his or her pain, you will be better able to reach out in a way that is compassionate and that feels genuine.
Be willing to do whatever it takes to prove to your spouse that you are serious about changing and about making the marriage work. Nothing is more frustrating to a spouse than when her partner acts annoyed by his or questions following a transgression.
Yes, they are going to ask you where you are going. Yes, they are probably going to find a way to check and see if you are lying. Just remember that it was your behavior that made your spouse unable to trust you.
Be willing to be uncomfortable for a while as it is a key in how to save your marriage.