Handling Conflict: Save A Marriage By Using Marriage Counseling Tips
Use professional counseling advice in dealing with conflict to save a marriage.
As any married person will tell you, heated arguments are part of the package. In fact, they can be indicative of a healthy relationship because the couple emerges stronger in the end. What makes arguments destructive is when they are not resolved properly. Too many couples make the mistake of letting confrontational situations affect their relationship. Marriage counselors often give these pieces of advice in order to improve the way conflict is handled:
Taking an emotional breather is perfectly acceptable if it is necessary. Arguments need not be resolved on the spot. There are some occasions when the emotions are on overdrive that forcing the issue might do more harm than good. If you find yourself getting too angry or upset, excuse yourself to calm yourself down. You may either do something relaxing or take a couple of deep breaths. What is important is that you are able to focus on the problem rather than the emotions behind it. This can be one of the most important ways to save a marriage from unnecessary hurts.
Resist the urge to focus on the negatives and allow it to fester in your mind. Avoid sweeping generalizations like “you never do this” or “I always feel that”. Most likely, sentences that are along this vein are simply not true. They also make the other person feel like their efforts and past behaviors are unimportant. Instead, make positive statements that encourage communication and therefore, have the tendency to save a marriage.
Always be respectful of the other person, even if you do not agree with their ideas. Never curse at the other person or make them feel embarrassed in front of other people. A small argument may not be very small if it is done in front of other people. It is important to remember that a relationship requires teamwork. The members have to trust each other and value the contributions of one another. These are essential traits when it comes to the goal of being able to save a marriage.
Have realistic expectations during a confrontation. Oftentimes, people feel disappointed when the other person is not swayed into sharing the belief of the other. The truth is that there are some arguments that never get resolved because of the difference in opinions. This does not mean that the marriage is doomed. It just means that the husband and wife should learn to agree to disagree. Save a marriage by knowing when to just let the situation be and focus on being together.
Play fair during a fight and do not bring up the past unless it is pertinent to the issue at hand. Rehashing past hurts is just indicative of resentment and is not useful to the present problem. It just starts another cycle of fighting between the couple. Once a fight has been resolved, there is no need to bring it up again. Save a marriage by having a short memory when it comes to marital problems that already merited an apology and forgiveness.