When Is It Too Late To Save A Marriage?
“When is it too late to save a marriage” is a very sad question. It usually means that the couple has put off getting help or going to counseling and now their relationship is in such a state that it is difficult for them to imagine being able to repair it.
The answer to the question is not going to be the same for every couple, but just the fact that one is still asking means there may be hope. As long as both people want it to work, even if the reasons are not based on the romantic love you felt when you first got together, then there is still hope.
Of course, it would have been much better if the couple had asked for help to save a marriage much sooner. Think of it like a cut on your hand. You feel the initial pain. You put a bandage on it, and then figure it will take care of itself. After about a week, you notice it is getting worse instead of better. You think that perhaps you should visit the doctor, but that will cost money and take time, so you just change the bandage. You do the same thing as before, but hope for a different result.
Finally, after weeks of being in pain and watching this once harmless little cut grow into an infected mess, you visit the doctor. You learn that because you waited, the infection has spread to your bloodstream. What could have been a very simple treatment had you sought help right away is now potentially life threatening.
This is what happens with many marriages. There is a problem, but both partners figure it will work itself out. The husband buys flowers, the wife makes a special dinner but both soon realize nothing has changed. The problem is still there.
They think of seeing a counselor, but that would be too much trouble. They buy more flowers and make more special dinners. They do the same thing and hope for a different result.
When they finally decide to seek help to save a marriage, it is too late for many of them because what was once a small issue has spread into every aspect of their relationship.
By the time you are asking if it is too late to save a marriage, it is likely that the problem has already spread. While that doesn’t necessarily mean that it is too late, it does usually mean that the fix will be more involved that it otherwise might have been.
Instead of waiting until you feel like your marriage is at the end of the rope, seek help as soon as you realize that there is a problem that you can’t seem to fix on your own.
Getting help might mean seeing a marriage counselor, talking to your minister or buying one of the many books, CDs or other products that are available.
Just don’t wait. The time to start trying to save a marriage is the moment you realize it might need saving.