Marriage Advice You Can Use To Prevent Divorce
What sort of marriage advice have you been offered throughout your life? You have probably heard your parents, grandparents, friends, and others talk about married life offering tidbits of knowledge about what it takes to make marriage work. Much of this advice is unknowingly ill willed and has left a permanent marker on your feelings about marriage.
Now you are married and probably embarking on some of the same journeys that millions of others before you have traveled. The bottom line is that you love your spouse, chose to marry them and don’t want to end up a divorce statistic. Marriage advice should be given in order to help strengthen your marriage. Here is some advice that every marriage can benefit from, straight from the lives of happy couples.
Keep your own life. Togetherness is grand. But too much togetherness can warp and stress your marriage. Nobody wants to be with someone who can’t take a step without him or her. Similarly, no one wants to bear the utmost responsibility for his or her spouse’s happiness. If you are jealous, clingy, pessimistic, and willing to give up all your passions, friends and previous life for a marriage – you are headed for trouble. Having your own life and your army of friends keeps you interesting. Marriage is not about spending every minute together, it is about spending time together that is meaningful and happy.
Know how to Solve Problems. So the laundry hasn’t been done in a week. The grass needs cutting and you don’t have enough money to pay the electric bill. Stuff happens. Little problems are just that, little problems. It is natural for people to seek out someone to blame – but in your marriage, this won’t serve you well. Instead, face problems together and come up with a plan to solving them. When both of you are included in the solutions, your marriage will be confident to face the big problems when they come. This marriage advice is one of the top secrets of happy couples.
Be Clear on the Deal Breakers. Every person has things in their life that are abundantly important. But just because you married someone doesn’t mean they are going to see your artwork, your motorcycle fetish, or your mom in the same light. Be clear about what is important to you and choose wisely.
Fight Fair! All’s fair in love and war, right? Wrong. The way you fight is a clear indicator of whether or not your marriage will last. If one partner is loud, obnoxious, or hurtful during arguments – this will cause long-standing resentment. If you can’t say something nice – then choose nothing at all. Knowing your own temperament and restraining from blurting out hurtful statements is good marriage advice. You can never take them back.
Leave Other People out of Your Marriage. Who cares what your mom thinks of your spouse? You chose your spouse and people who want to put them down, belittle them, or say hurtful things about them that aren’t supportive of your marriage are not helping you. Leave other people out of your relationship and put an end to any spouse bashing right from the get go. For this same reason, don’t share all your nitty-gritty details with people that are close to you. You will forgive your spouse easily while they will still hold a grudge. Marriage advice you should follow is…your marriage is private!
Don’t Threaten Divorce. Don’t threaten divorce every time something isn’t right. Relationships ebb and flow just like the tides. When a storm comes in, realize that it too will pass. If you throw around the divorce word or threaten to leave every time a problem comes up your spouse will begin to feel complacent in the marriage. Or, they might just take you up on it after hearing it too much.
Seek Marriage Advice From Happy Couples and Professionals. You don’t have to turn out like your parents. There are plenty of marriage strengthening techniques, self-help books, and programs that you can implement to ensure your marriage stays strong. Find couples that you respect and listen and watch how they act together. No marriage is perfect – but the good ones are easy to spot.
Communicate. All marriage advice involves communication. You must communicate with your spouse. Find the best times to talk; keep conversation going and commit to spending time talking about life together. Remember when you could talk on the phone for hours. Rekindle those feelings and make time to talk. If communication is difficult, then find creative ways to show you care and communicate. Write letters, email, and text message. Whatever you do, keep the lines of communication open.
Last but not least, there is one word that can describe the best marriage counsel available. Respect! Respect yourself, your partner, and the relationship above all things…which is by far the best marriage advice.