Correcting problems in communication can save your marriage. Many marriages that fail do not do so because of infidelity or some other serious transgression. In many cases, problems in communication are what brought an end to the marriage.
Problems in communication may be difficult to detect. In fact, some couples with such problems rarely ever argue. They mistakenly think that a lack of arguing must mean the marriage is somewhat healthy, but it does not.
There are many potential issues that can crop up as the result of problems in communication. One of those is that one or both partners will not be getting his or her needs met.
For example, if the husband rarely says “I love you”, but shows it through a variety of activities such as buying the wife gifts and fixing things around the house, the wife could feel neglected and unloved, but the husband would not even know there was a problem.
Another example is the husband who is unfulfilled sexually. It is not about the wife being unattractive to him, but perhaps he just wishes she’d take the lead from time to time. He doesn’t want to tell her that for fear of hurting her feelings, so he keeps silent. The wife thinks all is well, but the husband is unhappy.
Those are just two examples of reasons that it is so important to open up the lines of honest communication and make sure that both the husband and the wife feel totally comfortable going to each other about anything that is on their mind.
Free Speech Nights
One way to overcome problems in communication is to have a free speech night. That doesn’t mean that the husband and wife cannot speak freely the rest of the time. Instead, this is a dedicated time that is set aside to discuss issues that may be on either of their minds.
During this time, there should be no playing with the cell phone, or talking with the kids. This is a regular, set aside appointment where you focus on nothing but each other.
Of course, setting time aside will not mean anything if either spouse is afraid to speak their mind. If there have been problems in communication it is important to discuss the fact that the feelings of both spouses are valid and very important.
There should be no yelling, getting defensive or making fun of the other person for something that they say. Instead, there should be compassion for the other person’s feelings. This is true even if you think that their point of view is silly.
Partners must feel comfortable talking to each other about anything. The way that each partner reacts to the other will have the most impact on whether or not that will be the case.
Difficulties in communication do not necessarily mean that one partner does not care about the other, but that is the way that it may feel to your spouse.
By focusing on correcting these issues, you can prevent many more serious marital issues down the road and work to repair any issues that currently exist and overcoming problems in communication.