Dealing With Marriage Conflict
There are two sides to every marriage conflict.
If you are married, then you need to know how to deal with marriage conflict. Even the best marriages are subject to some amount of conflict, and knowing how to quickly diffuse a potentially volatile situation can go a long way in creating peace and harmony in your marriage.
You’re NOT Always Right
Some people honestly think they are almost always right. If you are one of those people, here is something you should know: You are NOT always right! Furthermore, thinking so will do great harm to your marriage.
You will be willing to pretty much fight to the death during any marriage conflict because you think you’re always right. If you’re married, it’s time to grow up and realize that others feelings and opinions matter just as much as your own.
Being unwilling to see anyone else’s side during a marriage conflict is a recipe for a divorce down the road.
Choose Your Battles
Some husbands and wives are willing to go to blows over just about anything. A husband forgets to take the trash out and the wife is slamming things around and acting as angry as a hungry bulldog. A wife is a bit behind on the laundry and the husband is screaming like someone stole his best friend.
In a marriage, both partners must learn to choose their battles. There is no reason that every tiny issue must lead to a marriage conflict.
Yes, the garbage needs to go out. Yes, the laundry needs to get done. Still, instead of yelling, just do it yourself. Or at least ask your spouse if he or she needs a little extra help.
A Soft Answer
When a situation arises that has the potential to lead to marriage conflict, try using a soft answer. For example, if your husband comes home late from work you could greet him this way: “WHERE WERE YOU? Haven’t you ever heard of a telephone? What do you think the world revolves around YOU?” Or you could try something like this: “Yay! You’re home! I missed you all day! Why were you so late? Did you get stuck in traffic?”
Should he have called? Yes. Do you have a right to be annoyed? Probably, but by greeting your husband with a soft answer rather than accusations and yelling, you have the ability to potentially diffuse a marriage conflict before it starts.
Once you find out why he was late, you can explain why a phone call should have been made and let him know how it makes you feel when he is late without calling.
You are not letting your spouse off the hook with a soft answer, you are just dealing with the problem in a mature and reasonable way.
A Second Opinion
Sometimes, a marriage conflict becomes a bit too much to handle between just the two of you. It is at those times that you should consider outside help. Consider asking a minister for some advice or make an appointment with a counselor.
Learning how to handle marriage conflict, which is part of every marriage, is the only way that your marriage will last until death do you part.