Are Problems In Communication Hurting Your Marriage?
Let’s face it! It is often the people we love the most that cause us the most problems in communication. Problems in communication, especially as they pertain to marriage are the number one cause of divorce. Over time, these failures to understand one another can lead to long-term resentment and hurt.
Perhaps, rather than being an issue of compatibility it is more an issue of communication styles.
Understand that there are two basic concepts when it comes to effective communication. Honesty and respect! When it comes to your marriage, these are undeniable truths about what it takes to avoid problems in communication.
When you think of sheer honesty, you may think of the child who calls a woman “fat” based upon his seeing that she is. Yes, this is honesty but in marriage, communication must be a perfect balance of honesty and respect. It is so difficult to find the right words and to always keep these two aspects of communication in balance because we tend to expect more from our spouse.
You probably also find that your temper or emotions are more easily sparked by a spouse than they are by anyone else that you communicate with. Herein lies the problems in communication.
If you and your spouse would follow the five-second rule and always think before you speak, there are probably millions of things that you wouldn’t say. Additionally, making efforts to remain honest and respectful at the same time in EVERY communication with your spouse shows that you care enough for your partner and relationship to not be hurtful or inappropriate.
Honesty and respect come from making forthright statements that are not backed by any intention to hide or evade something. It is meaning what you say without saying things that are mean. It is also finding sentences and phrases that make the most of your time and that work to be part of a solution rather than a problem. If you follow the five-second rule, there are probably plenty of things that you would choose not to say or choose to say differently.
Problems in communication often stem from not using powerful statements. However, it also comes from not being a good listener. In our relationships, we tend to think that our spouses should have some sort of psychic abilities. Since they don’t, asking good questions is essential. If your spouse says something that seems spiteful or problematic, you should be a good listener and say, “Did you just mean to say that I am irresponsible?” If you have problems in communication with your spouse, asking questions can be a quick, honest, and respectful way to clear them up. It also shows that you are paying attention to the conversation and are involved in the relationship.
Problems in communication don’t happen overnight. It is easy to begin to automatically believe that you know your partner’s response to situations. It is also easy to assume that you know what they mean when they say things to you. You are two different people. If you follow
the rules of fluffing your communication with honesty and respect, you will find that there are fewer disagreements between the two of you. Use straightforward, honest, and respectful questions to make your communication more effective and above all else try to remember the five-second rule. It is much easier to avoid problems in communication than it is to fix them.